Issue 56 - Sabrina The Teenage Satan Worshiping Orphan
Our Spooktacular month continues! Last year we covered Archie’s Gritty Zombie Reboot so this year, we returned to Riverdale for another horror story! Well… not quite Riverdale, but the nearby town of Greendale. It’s time for the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina The Teenage Witch! Phil doesn’t remember the show at all, but even he’s pretty sure they didn’t worship Satan on ABC’s TGIF or even the reruns on the much edgier TeenNick. Content warning: Like with most of our Halloween episodes, this book contains a lot of violence, mention of sexual assault, and some adult themes. Spooky, right?
To round out our Halloween block of episodes, we go back to another book written by Riverdale creator Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa. Just like with Afterlife With Archie, he scares the hell out of us with some campy 60s characters. At least Ryan didn’t cry this time. Sly brings back his beloved Dracula voice. Phil forgot to finish the book, but helps point out a lot of religious parallels, so we’ll let it slide this time. Darryl just wants to marry an old lady who loves Bye Bye Birdy (and happens to be in a coma). Ryan has some pretty messed up lines in the sand on what he calls “dark” stories.
Happy Halloween, everybody! I hope it’s spooky! But not as spooky as the real world has been lately. Come on, even horror fans have their limits.
Theme Song: Theme Song from the Sabrina The Teenage Witch Animated Series